You know you're from Winnipeg when...
(copy from facebook groups, not really understand everything, but it's really funny... enjoy....)
1. "Vacation" means going to Brandon for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
4. You know of several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You use a down comforter in the summer.
6. Your grandparents drive at 100 km/h through four meters of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
8. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled.
10. You know all four seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
11. You are bundled up in three sweaters, a parka, ski pants, a toque, two
pairs of mittens, boots past your knees in 3 feet of snow in a -35 (-8000 with the wind-chill) blizzard, your eyelashes are frozen together, your nose is running, you can't feel your toes, and you still stop at 7 Eleven for a Slurpee on the way home.
12. You still think the Winnipeg Jets are the best hockey team ever.
13. You refer to 7-11 simply as "Sev".
14. You love a cold beer, regardless of whether its -40 or +40 outside.
15. You've been to a birthday party at Discovery Zone and waited in line with everyone else to swing from the cable hit the mat at the end!
16. You call jelly filled donuts Jambusters.
17. You've gone to Corydon for gelato.
18. You still remember the Winnipeg Jets.
19. Higgins and Main. Enough said.
20. You've been to Sargent Sundae, or BDI.
21. Teddy Bears picnic, anyone?
22. You can always tell who the Americans are at the bar.
23. You know how to properly pronounce Lagimodiere, Disraeli, and Pembina.
24. A road trip is heading down to Grand Forks.
25. You know where all the red light cameras are.
26. You think "Spirited Energy" is just dumb.
27. Bears on Broadway
28. All directions start with "You take Portage..."
29. The minute it hits 0 degrees, you're in shorts and a t-shirt.
30. Anytime youre in an arena you're compelled to chant "GO JETS GO!".
31. Youre out of province and you get ID'd going into a bar and get made fun of for your 'library card quality' ID.
32. You know what a social is.
33. Mosquitoes don't even phase you anymore.
34. You plug your car in during the winter.
35. You've had one of those hot dogs from the vendors after the bar.
36. You've been to Sals.
37. You're proud to be Slurpee Capital of Canada.
38. You WERE proud to be murder capital of Canada.
39. If you don't know Randy Bachman or Burton Cummings personally, you know someone who does.
40. You can argue the merits of boiled or fried perogies.
41. You remember the dates of major blizzards and floods.
42. Driving in winter is easier because all the potholes are filled with snow.
43. There are always 4 empty cars running in the parking lot of a beer store at any given time.
44. You know that school is never cancelled even during the worst of blizzards.
45. You understand that everyone is connected to everyone in Winnipeg.
46. You know who Dancing Gabe is.
47. Teemu Selanne = GOD.
48. You still believe the Jets are coming back.
49. You're tired of having to switch into the slow lane to drive faster.
50. When you've been to the Forks.
51.You've mixed alcohol in your slurpee.
52. You know about Sunday Cruise Night...and have been.
53. Transcona is known as Trashcona.
54. You know that the Blue Bombers suck, but you'll still defend them to the grave.
55. Only you can make fun of Winnipeg.
56. You've seen a buffalo in real life.
57. Everyone is separated by 3 degrees of separation.
58. You can successfully navigate Confusion Corner.
59. You have no problem driving an hour to a party.
60. You try to avoid cabbing to bars at all costs.
61. You've had your car broken into, stolen, or know someone who has.
62. It snows in May, and you don't even flinch.
63. All you know about is Route 90.
64. You know what the LC, The OC, and TYC stand for.
65. You are thrilled to drive to the smallest town possible to find the best party ever...
66. You've pondered why there is a 13' golden naked boy standing on top of your legislative building.
67. Carlos and Murphy's.
68. You are proud to not wear a jacket when you are in another city and it's -1 and everyone else is all bundled up as if the next ice age has arrived.
69. You will drive to Kenora/Lake of the Woods to party.
70. The Ex and mini donuts.
71. You have devised new and creative ways to kill mosquitoes.
72. You know more than 1/2 the people in this group, and if you don't, one of your friends does.
73. You have thought of (and perhaps even tried) new ways to outwit the photo radar systems.
74. Corydon. Patios. Enough said.
75. It doesn't matter who is playing in a hockey game...to you, it's the Jets.
76. If you have left Winnipeg for some reason, you have found a clan of prairie folk with whom to chant 'go jets go' when you are drunk and feel empowered.
77. River City Ale
78. You have questioned the purpose of the 'erection' on the bridge - and tried to justify it's existence from time to time - but failed miserably.
79. You get a new bike for Christmas, and have to wait 6 months to ride it.
80. You know what the penis bridge is.
81. You know all the words to the Weakerthans' songs.
82. The mosquitoe is your provincial bird.
83. You tell everyone at home you hate the Peg, but when you leave it's suddenly the best place in the world.
84. You know the number to Pizza Hotline.
85. You know the price of each size of slurpee AND how much it costs to get a refill ($1.12 baby!!).
86. If you're proud that we make the national news 96 nights each year because Winnipeg is the coldest spot in the nation.
87. If Dairy Queen is closed from September through May.
88. If you start to get a tan line in the middle of your forehead.
89. You don't get to the airport until 1/2 an hour before your flight, yet the airport is so empty that you still get on the plane. With ease.
90. It's early December and you're blown away that the community centres don't have outdoor ice yet.
91. Iif you've worn a wool winter sweater to the bar and totally fit in with everyone else.
92. If you know of at least 10 people that have moved to Calgary.
93. If you refuse to buy a Slurppee from Macs.
94. If you you are apalled by the lack of Slurppee selection (not even to mention the number of Sev's) in other provinces.
95. If you've bragged about being able to drink at 18 to your out of province friends.
96. If you've had a birthday party at Dark Zone.
97. If pay utmost attention to the news whenever they mention something Winnipeg related - triple murder or not.
98. If you refuse to cheer for the Phoenix Coyotes at all costs.
99. If you think paying anything more than $3 for a drink is outrageous.
100. If you've waited outside a store at 5:00am for a Boxing Day doorcrasher sale.
101. If you hate the guy from the Best Sleep Centre radio commercials.
102. If you call it a "toque" not a hat. That's just wrong.
103. If you've worn a balaclava at some point in your life.
104. If you dream of $9 pitchers at the Pemby.
105. If you actually know that Flin Flon is not a made up town.
106. If you think Winnipeg being featured in the Simpsons was one of the city's best achievements.
107. If you went to the Pan-Am Games.
108. If you find yourself at a cottage every long weekend, and at least half of all others.
109. If you think Global Warming is a total crock...we're still waiting for some changes..
110. If you have ever handled a sandbag.
111. If you know what a "floodway" is.
112. You're amazed that there are hip hop groups in Winnipeg, and that one even has a song called " eg City".
113. You're proud that Jonathan Toews is from there, and that Darren Helm is from the same province.
114. You've wondered who's bright idea it was to make our buses orange, yet you were outraged when they started painting them white.
115. Ace Burpee is your hero!
116. You have gotten your tongue stuck to a pole or zipper.
117. You're "stuck in rushhour" means an extra 5 minutes to your ride home.
118. You walk into an arena in the winter to warm up.
119. If you've memorized the phone number for both Unicity Taxi and Duffy's Taxi.
120. You pre-game with a 2-6 before going to the bar...in the parking lot.
121. You have no fears about peeing in random spots outside of bars and clubs.
122. The best tobogganing within city limits is down a hill made from garbage.
123. A glorified canal provides most of your winter entertainment
124. You know the exact time in which skin freezes at different temperatures.
125. Realizing that because of the MTS center, your favorite bands would FINALLY have a venue to play in Winnipeg.
126. Its -50C out.. but its also a Friday night...and that sure as hell ain't going to stop you from going out drinking.
127. You have worked or volunteered at the Festival du Voyageur.
128. You're excited for it to be -15 outside.
129. You jumped up and down with glee when Desperate Housewives acknowleged Winnipeg's existence... TWICE!
130. You're SURPRISED when all four lanes of traffic are open [not under construction/being cleared] on a main road.
131. The weather can change from +5 to -50 in the timespan of a week.
132. You know what 'hallowe'en apples' mean.
133. Your family activities are shovelling the driveway.
134. You get pissed off at the person who cut into your lane while driving and never waved in the review mirror.
135. You call it "monkey in the middle" instead of "piggy in the middle".
136. You refer to men's underwear as "GITCH".
137. From Dec to Feb, anytime you walked anywhere while in elementary school, the sound of Sorell boots scraping the ground followed you.
138. The cops stop to let someone j walk in front of them.
139. You notice that the highest elevation point within a 16 km radius is at the snow disposal sights.
140. You know what Folklarama and Folkfest are and go to at least one each summer.
141. You buy a car, and choose the color based on what it looks like covered with slush/snow.
142. You know who Wheeler and Hal are, and are proud that Hal's the 34th greatest Canadian!
143. You know who Mood Ruff and Platinum Black are and know all of the words to Peg City Remix and Rocketship.
144. A trip to the beach isn't complete if you don't see wavy gravy en route! haha.
145. When catching you with weed, cops will actually blaze WITH you.
146. You can't last a concert at the MTS without the scent reaching you.
147. Its the only place where at work you know the kid your age, the one old enough to be your mom , and your grandma all smoke pot.
148. You know what a nose game is.
149. You don't ask why there's plugs hanging out of everyone's car.
150. Your car is equipped with a shovel, scraper, mitts, etc..
151. You'd rather freeze outside of a bar than pay for coat check.
152. You call it a bar, not a club.
153. You see city construction workers on their lunch break at 8:20am.
154. When the city calls Disraeli a freeway.
155. When you brag to your friends in other cities about an underpass.
156. When you enter the north end and it looks like a new city.
157. When you see "road under construction" signs up 3 years after the city put them there. Then you call the city to find out what's going on and they say "we forgot about that."
158. When u can buy a home for $70,000.
159. When its not uncommon to see "Man robs 7-11 and flees on bicycle where he was arrested minutes later" on the front page of our newspaper.
160. When you move away for a year,and come back to your old friends saying "why would you ever come back here?"
161. When you hear Winnipeggers bragging about things like being the slurpee capital of the world and that Fred Penner was born here.
162. When the security guards at portage place where SWAT vests.
163. When the two busiest roads, Kenaston and Bishop Grandin, have traffic lights.
164. You're on a drinking team that plays hockey too.
165. You know what a block heater is and what command start is.
166. You brag that at least we’re not Saskatchewan.
167. You don’t stop cursing while trying to drive through downtown.
168. You claim to be part of western Canada.
169. You complain about everything and claim it’s your right, you’re from Winnipeg.
170. You go traveling and are always explaining that we’re not close to Vancouver, Toronto or Montreal.
171. You know how to parallel park on a snowbank.
172. You laugh at Vancouver when the city shuts down because of a light powdering of snow.
173. You brag that we have the best snowclearing in the country.
174. Fashion is the latest MEC parka, accessorized with large gortex mitts, a wool scarf, a toque, sorrels and a shovel.
175. The provincial sports teams are made up solely of Winnipeggers.
176. The gates at the Winnipeg airport are labeled in letters, instead of numbers.
177. The ski hill is a ditch with a chairlift.
178. You brag that at least it’s a DRY cold.
179. You’ve been to the Nutcracker by the RWB at least once.
180. You’re surprised and disappointed to find out we didn’t break a record (cold, wind, snow, rain) today.
181. You talk in terms of windchills and humidex factors.
182. You know the Sun is not a newspaper.
183. You start your car every hour when you can’t plug it in.
184. You’ve gotten a ticket because your car died on a snow route over night and all the tow trucks were backed up until the morning.
185. You can breath without inhaling smog.
186. You can fall asleep at the wheel on the highway, and wake up two hours later to the same view of fields and barns.
187. You know that Fall isn’t a season. It’s the day between green grass and snowbanks.
188. You feel physical pain if you have to go on any more field trips to Lower Fort Garry.
189. You've used the cops as a taxi to the bar...and back home afterwards.
190. Operation Red Nose...enough said.
191. You know what Ace Burpee's BBQ Peanut Butter is.
192. You dont use turn signals.
193. You've almost run over a deer.
194. You know exactly how many more free calls you still have to CAA.
195. You've used your ice scraper on the INSIDE of your car window.
196. You've played sponge hockey.
197. You know that one street can have 6 names: (Oak Point Highway, Brookside, Route 90, Kenaston, Bishop Grandin, King Edward).
198. Or 8 names: Salter, Isabel, BALMORAL, Colony, Memorial, Osborne, Dunkirk and Dakota.
199. You belong to Team Awesome.
200. You're considered 'naked' when wearing two layers outdoors.
201. You're proud that Winnie-the-Pooh is from there.
202. Everytime you hear an NHL team is having financial problems, you immediately start a rumour that team will be moving to Winnipeg.
203. $10 an hour is considered a decent wage.
204. You have made bannock at some point in your life.
205. The zipper pull on your parka is a tiny thermometer with a wind-chill chart on the back.
206. You know the difference between a Big Nip and a Big Nip Plus.
207. You're still pissed off that there's no IKEA here.
208. When you know the address of Kern Hill Furniture Co-Op! "C'mon DOOOOOWN....." (may Nick Hill rest in peace).
209. One word TINKERTOWN!
210. You have been to Gimli and know it is not just a character in Lord of the Rings.
211. Every second car you see is either a pontaic sunfire or a chevy cavalier.
212. Your child goes missing and its not considered an emergency until he/she has been gone for more than 3 or 4 days.
213. Shopping at a Shopper's Drug Mart is as good as shopping at the mall.
214. You know what to call getting water in your shoes--a booter.
215. You can buy a 5 bedroom house up there for $100,000, where in Virginina it would cost you at least $900,000 to a million.
216. You've used your bank card or another card in your wallet to scrape your windows.
217. You've driven to work looking through a tiny scraped area on your windshield and the rest of your car COVERED in snow.
218. Everywhere you go you see at least one BEAUTIFUL woman.
219. Make-out point is the garbage hill off of Empress.
220. You've gone to the leg buildings and seen the "purple city".
221. You read who's on at teasers everytime you drive past the Chalet hotel.
222. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
223. You plan your outfit in the summer according to how bad the mosquitos are going to be.
224. The term "route 90" never crossed your mind as a travelling option during rush hour....until the new bridge. FINALLY.
225. Admit it, you've actually "cruised" down portage on a sunday night. But driving down portage any other day of the week in the summer is just wasting gas.
226. E-braking and fishtailing become sports during winter.
227. Your ears pop while walking down a snowbank.
228. You know the best rollercoaster in the city is "The Dragon" at Tinkertown.
229. You will drive halfway across the city just to save 7 cents/litre on gas.
230. You've asked for vinegar for your fries in another city and got a strange look.
231. You know what flavours are at each Sev and will drive past three just to get your favourite.
232. You go into a fancy restaurant and ask for a Fatboy.
233. You're late for a bus...and you run out the door to catch it...your hair is still wet from the shower...AND IT FREEZES as you walk to the bustop outside. I'm talking about ICE.
234. You go to polo and see at least 10 people you know, no matter where you live in the city.
235. They film a movie downtown and it's the craziest thing to hit winnipeg that whole year. including people lining up begging to be extras.
236. You care when there is a celebrity in our city.
237. You will probably go through an average of 30 vehicle extension cords in your lifetime because you keep driving away and forgetting you plugged yourself in.
238. You wind your extension cords around your rear view mirror, hoping they wont get stolen.
239. You sneak a flask into the bar and order diet cokes all night...for mixing.
240. You're so surprised when you see a limo that you point it out to all your friends, and try to "guess" who could be inside.
241. You make fun of people from Ontario for their plaid flannel shirts and trucker caps, yet your denim overalls and cowboy hat are totally acceptable.
242. You know its getting warmer in Winnipeg when you can't walk downtown for 2 blocks without getting bugged for money.
243. You know the difference between AA and A2 Hockey.
244. You know your from Winnipeg when your proud that the 3rd largest "city" in Mb is actually also in Winnipeg.
1.Winnipeg - 641,483
2.Brandon - 41,511
3.University of Manitoba - 29,947
4.Thompson - 13,446
245. You see some bison, and instantly think of MTS.
246. You stop the cops to give you a ride home cuz minus 25 is too damned cold too walk 10mins, and they give you a ride and remind you that you havent paid for a ticket you received 3 years ago. Or the cops stop you with open liquor and tell you that you have five minutes to get it out of their sight, so you pound it back and they go "good job son".
247. You know who the kern hill dynasty is. come on down!!!
248. You roll the window down on the car when it hits a swletering -10 in January.
249. You know what a super boy is.
250. You've lost your beer behind a tree in one or more of the parks in the city when you saw the park patrol coming.
251. You know at least 3 people who have "guest starred" on Falcon Beach, often as more than one character.
252. You treat the great outdoors as a vast personal toilet.
253. A fight, any fight, is as good as a party...
254. You see Anita Neville in Starbucks and think for a second, wow, she's the closest thing to a local celebrity...
255. You know all of the details of Louis Riel's life.
256. You that the dragon is the best waterslide at Fun Mountain.
257. On the first day the powder hits everyone is out carbogganing and the cops pull you over for your tail light being out.
258. When the only birthday cake you've EVER had is a Jeanne's chocolate log...and to even think about anything is else is just blasphemous.
259. When you know that there is practically no where good to shop except for the internet!
260. You get put on TV and you find out with a phone call saying, "I saw your hat and scarf on TV...way to go."
261. There is definitely "NO FOOLIN' WITH POULIN".
262. You have come into contact with Dave Moffatt at one point or another and wondered why a celebrity would choose to live here.
263. You know what mini sticks are.
264.Dollarama is your new favorite store.
265. The renovation of polo is the most important time in your life.
266. You know which building is the tallest. The TD one.
267. The only tape you can find in your house is hockey tape
268. You were once a member of the Mr. Bailey rockin the O.C Facebook Group... before it ended up on National News.
269. You dip everything in honey dill sauce.
270. You go to Minnesota or North Dakota and come back with 10 boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts.
271. Celebs like McMaster and James and Remy Shand are known.
272. You or a friend knows at least 3 Hells Angels.
273. You wear waterproof mascara only because by the time you walk to school the ice on your eyelashes is so thick that when it melts it looks like someone punched you in the face.
274. 3 words... Heated Bus Shelters.
275. You've done something stupid on 97 to get free tickets to a concert.....and nobody makes fun of you because it was them last week!!
276. You know winnie the pooh was found and named after Winnipeg.
277. You've been to Spring Hill and when you ski in the mountains you spend half your chair rides explaining that Manitoba has no mountains and that at home you ski on 300 feet of a 16 degree pitch.
278. Spring Hill has the worlds shortest quad chair and you're proud of it.
279. You're proud to have a naked man on top of the legislative building, and equally satisfied with the Winnipeg logo that resembles a breast.
280. As you drive over the chief peguis bridge, from Main to Henderson, you always glance to your right and wonder what the heck that bridge is, why it is turned sideways, and why it is still there.
281. You search for Old Dutch chips in vain when you are elsewhere.
282. You know that you shouldn't mess with kids from the North end.
283. You recognize your neighborhood in the crime stoppers videos.
284. You balk at the idea of going to Portage Place rather than Polo Park.
285. You heard that Mr. Bones pizza contained bodily discharge (and you've heard of Mr. Bones Pizza).
286. You keep telling yourself you should eat at the revolving restaurant at least once, even though you heard the food sucks.
287. Although you proudly talk about Wpg as the murder capital, you've never actually seen a murder nor heard a gun go off.
288. You think the city zoo sucks but still go once a year. (And you still remember the year the pandas came).
289. The only reason you watched wrestling for a little while was because of Chris Jericho.
290. You still think of Joe (from Tom and Joe) as the guy who hosted the city wrestling show.
291. You've caught yourself wanting to go inside the Occidental Hotel on Main just to see what a sleezy hotel actually looks like.
292. You know all the places to drive to see the hookers and drove past them a whole lot during high school.
293. You still call Sobey's IGA (pronounced 'ig-uh')
294. You've never been to the convention center or the art gallery since school. But you go to Army Surplus right beside the art gallery pretty regularly.
295. You are very adamant as to which gelati store on Corydon is better and will have regular arguments on the subject while heading there with friends.
296. You think of Soup Pierre as the Soup Nazi of Winnipeg.
297. Even after getting Gelati on Corydon, you'll still go to that candy store.
298. You've seen someone taking a dump in a bus shack.
299. You are in complete disarray when first experiencing a traffic circle in another city.
300. You've seen bears within city limits.
301. You wonder how people can function in other cities without back lanes.
302. You've hidden in an auto-bin during a game of hide-and-seek (and you know what an auto-bin is).
303. When you know that the three tall buildings in downtown are all banks, that TD's is the tallest, and you've never been in any of them.
304. You know the Oasis is a cesspool but will still go there if for some reason you can't make it to Grand Beach.
305. You've swam at the pits near the Oasis even though you've been told, and everyone knows, that someone drowned there once.
306. You hear that same friggin Filipino guy with the distorted voice effects whenever you go the Forks.
307. The Pan Am fireworks was the best fireworks display you've ever seen.
308. You think the name of that store 'The Happy Cooker' is clever but have never been in there.
309. You were downtown with the rest of the city when they closed off portage and main for Great Big Sea.
310. You know that Neil Young is one of us and always will be.
311. People laugh when you tell them there's an awesome beach nearby. (but there is!)
312. You remember that it was big news when the golden boy was taken down for repairs (and you probably went with your parents to see him on display).
313. You have never had to sell, or dispose of, an old bicycle because every one you have ever owned has been stolen from you eventually. |
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